SELF CARE IS MY LANTERN

We get so caught up in our busy lives it becomes so easy to neglect ourselves and our health. Next thing you know, we start to do things on impulse, without thinking any of it through. After the adrenaline rush is over, we get bogged down and disappointed so much, then we ask: "How did I get here?" 

As human beings, it is so important to take the time to nurture our bodies and our minds. 

Garbage in, Garbage out. 

Listen, honey, I've been there, I know where you are in your journey. I've given more than I've received. I've accepted and tolerated longer than I should have. Sometimes we can be so stubborn. 

-We stay at that job too long because we don't want to be viewed as a quitter. 

-We stay with that guy too long because we convince our selves he is going to change, at some point, right??..No

-We say yes to every one because we don't want to disappoint our loved ones, but end up disappointing them anyway because we don't follow through.

Stop doing that! You are a testament of your own life. No one else can express what happens to you but you.

The purpose of this blog, is to show a side of me I've kept hidden for a very long time. The picture below, was taken the day after I spent three (3) long dreadful days in the hospital. 

On February 4th, 2013, I suffered a ruptured cyst in my right ovary that caused me pain, suffering and hospitalization for almost two years. My friend, Jen, took the above picture of me, because I was tired of hiding behind my pain. 

I got up and said, "Girl, you know what? Let me slap some make up on, let's have a mini shoot." I remember her responding "Girl, What? You need to be resting! But ok, if it's going to help you feel better then I'm for it" 

I wanted to show the world that I was happy, that I was resilient even if it wasn't true. Doctors said it could be this or that but no solutions. Possible endometriosis, possible stress, blah blah blah. 

The fact is, my body was shutting down and I was waiting on a diagnosis. I was waiting on a clear answer, instead of focusing on my own healing. 

I've learned that everything is a domino effect. I wasn't loving on myself the way I should have been. The chain around my neck was given to me by an ex I needed to let go of but I didn't know how to. 

At that time, I never felt so alone. Although, many were checking in, and some were visiting, it was still a frustrating time for me and my family. Even for my mom, who as a nurse,  still felt perplexed. 

I couldn't be left unattended, there were periods where I would go completely unconscious. I wasn't sure how to explain my condition to employers or to anyone. I did not know how to move onward and I was not sure what to look forward to.

That experience made me wonder, why didn't they add more to the agenda on women's health during sex ed classes? As women, our bodies are more than just the birds and the bees. Our bodies are so fragile and need special attention. We need to be over prepared and stop dancing around the problem. 

 So one day, I decided to start Bikram Yoga, (Hot yoga for all of you non yogis out there) and as I was waiting around for my class, there was a doctor in a healing center giving out free massages. I thought to myself, ooo! I could really use that even if it is for 10 minutes. Her name was Dr. Yudan, so I explained to her about my condition and asked her if she could help, and she did. She taught me how to keep my body warm, and to consume foods with high fiber, and low fructose. 

I did acupressure, hot yoga, heated up my belly with chinese medicine, and spent some time in deep prayer with God for a year. Now four years and some change later, I've never felt better. I took charge of my life, gave it to God and let go of the things and people who were harming me, mentally, physically and spiritually. Now, it is important for me to focus on what my body needs at all times.

I want to be transparent with you. I want you to know that you are not alone. I am here with you and I love you.

I've learned to love myself through some trying times, and I am ready to share what that means with you. Let's open up a dialogue around wellness and self preservation. Our society ignores this topic far too much. Why is that?


So seriously, let's re-group, look inward and build our inner peace together. 

I got you.

Light and Love, 

Raïna Jacques

I do not own the rights to the photo above