MY FATHER TAUGHT ME HOW TO SURVIVE WITHOUT HIM

Where do I even begin. This is not something I discuss often. It is hard to just express what we label "daddy issues" out in the open. Too many of our girls are growing up without their fathers. Which is tragic. Statistics show, that when there is a father in the picture, young women make better decisions. Young women learn compassion, logical thinking and to take nothing for granted. I had a little bit of everything, and a little bit of nothing at the same time. The relationship I have with my father now is stronger than ever.

When I was a young girl, I was tied to his hip. I really went every where with the dude. We kicked it, we parlayed, I got to share how my mind worked without feeling ashamed. I was able to absorb the knowledge he shared with me and retain it. It was through my father, that I learned that it was perfectly fine to be myself. It was okay to explore and to just do whatever I wanted to do, even if it meant that I needed to teach myself to do it. My father taught me that it was important to be my own competition, and to love myself deeply.

In reality, my father was not always around. He was there, but he was not there. What did that teach me? Well, I am somewhere down the middle of not being able to let go of the things that pain me and a chronic forgiver. I had to dive deep inside of me to stop hating my father for not being there for me when it counted. When he showed up, I easily forgave him for the moment, then when he didn't, I was back to hating him.

When you understand that people are just people it allows an opportunity for reconciliation that is impactful even if it's just for a moment.

However, be sure to discern a mistake from abuse. You will see a trend or a series of mistakes that will lead to irreparable harm.

Your heart will break.

That being said, I have gone through life somewhat detached. Recently, I've been reminded that there is discomfort in feeling comfortable.

People will try to control you with their words, actions and emotions but, people are just people.

You are a person. Let it hurt, that's okay but, sis, do not stay there, trying to wrap your head around it. Do not sit in a pool full of tears at the expense of someone else's inability to see your worth.

Let it go. Let the hurt go.

When you locate abuse, let the person go.

People come from an intentional place of love, and then there are those who appear to come from a place of love.

The latter, does not live here.

The truth is God remains. No matter what. Human beings will make mistakes. You will make mistakes. But you will survive. You owe it to yourself to forgive yourself and forgive others for YOU. Stand up for yourself and be present and appreciative of who you are today.

It is not your job or responsibility to fix any one else. It is not your responsibility to force anyone to cherish the light that you have.

Your gut is ALWAYS right. ALWAYS! Go with it. Write a pledge to yourself, read it every day. None of the work you've done is in vain. I promise you, your breakthrough is around the corner.

Love and light,

Raïna Jacques